11
The tasting of edges
Here is how it is,
How it was:
From the vastness of sleep
A coagulation, a gravitation
Towards the poignant edge.
The bliss of voiceless silence
Shaped and constrained:
Electrical motion, remembering, defining
The surge of emotion, the
Tumble of language, the assertion
Of primacy, constraint, neural nets
To catch and take hold, own,
Possess, reject, disown, demean.
The walls of this house,
Our house,
Sure against the gale,
Black and warmed.
Here’s the truth of it:
This language is not my own,
Not my words, not my syntax,
Not my thoughts, nothing new.
History: the reiteration
Of the forgotten blood
Still roaring changeless
Down the rivers of the years.
Here we are:
Rooted, belonging,
Our right,
A place to return to,
Warm in the soot-blackened darkness
(The winds screaming, battering, squeezing
Sound from tumbling dust).
A silver flash on the black waters,
Leaping fish way beyond the heron’s gaze.
The tawny glen, its tawny sides
Closing in as day’s end darkens.
Where are the fires?
Where are the voices?
The footsteps of those returning home,
The yawns of babes
Turning in belly-filled sleep?
The roaring tide has left.
Its sound diminishes.
The white, wheeling gulls
Are silent specks, the dark horizon.
We are left at a peace
We do not want,
Wordless sorrow for the misplaced.
I’ll tell you of the purest emotion,
Feeling that is free of judging,
Free of qualification.
It is the only language of the heart.
Music, the language without definition,
The summoning of tears and smiles,
Our greatest blessing to the universe.
A song, wordless and unequivocal,
A language universal, sublime,
Fearful, shaking the roots of things,
A net for the Almighty’s scatterings.
(I would barely trust one
Who could not find a tune
With nimble fingers,
Who could not speak verse
As if it were his own heart talking,
Whose words stay cowled behind
Heavy drapes of seemly logic,
Whilst inward, seethes and rails
Against opinion not his own.)
It is not here
In the dream of standing alone.
It is not here
In the upright light of independence.
Uprooted, it is not possible to find a place,
Poor and worthless, it is not possible
To find gold or glory.
It is the same voice
As it ever was:
The clever words well-weighted,
Reasonable.
The rain on the roof,
The wind at the door.
We huddle
Holding the weaving of stories,
The paths telling how we got here,
The choices, the turns, the betrayals.
Cold draughts sweep abandoned corners.
The water does not fight the rock,
It tunes its song and flows around.
It is neither this nor that.
The stepping stones in the flood –
Not the only way to cross.
This house of trees –
It is a house of despair,
A house of howling winds.
This house of trees –
It is a bounty of bright life,
A re-population of delight.
This house of trees –
It is a signal to all
The tyranny of the past has fled.
This house of trees –
It is a plight of bitterness,
An empty, starved gesture of despair.
Delight and despair –
Sunlight and shadows on the hills.
Holding firm is not the way of life.
Freedom and independence, not
A way to understand life.
The making of edges
Is the sound and silence of the tune,
A convolution of anticipation.
Each edge, though,
Neither this, neither that.
We define too closely,
Barter truth for surety
Miss the paradox,
Hold too tightly.
The bright edge is a sword
That severs as the sunlight is a sword
That blinds the sight.
Coming over the hill –
The sharp curtain of the Cuillins,
The still waters of Ord.
Belonging or not belonging:
I borrow my breath
From the exhalation of sparrows
I borrow my sight
From the sparkle of waterfalls
I borrow my heart
From the song of dust and worm
I borrow my words
From the whispers of the dead,
From MacLeod under the sky,
From the white bones, the bleached bones.
I am nothing
But a continuance
Nothing but a path
Made by those gone on before
A house of trees
A house of birdsong
A house of utterance
A forever
Dreaming of a walled instant
Of peace.
i’m gonna need to reblog this section Simon – what a full rich honest satisfaction! Thank you – wonderful writing here – figuring how to be honest with it all, instead of my propensity to dismantling and scrutiny. Always I dream of staying on the borders of things, hearing in the seams, reporting in the margins. Terrific
Reblogged this on Spoondeep and commented:
deftly done and wisely sung
Thank you very much!
i always feel my comments to be somewhat inadequate (and repetitive!) but i can’t help myself. absolutely lovely.
I reslly appreciate your appreciation, without it writing is just a nice clean page spoiled.
do you ever find yourself buying a really lovely notebook and then not daring to write anything in it in case you ruin it?
Hee hee! All the time! Not so bad these days, though. I mainly use an A5 page a day diary. It doubles as a keeper of inspirations and a reminder of what needs to be done. Though this year I have bought two, because the first one, though a nice turquoise cover, had a slightly poorer quality of paper. So I got my usual make as well. Amazing what the feel of the medium adds or subtracts. I am using both at the moment as ideas are fizzin.
I have lusted over the tempting luciousness of hand-bound journals but I think that is just having too many incarnations as a monk scribe….!
“From the exhalation of sparrows”–that’s a lovely delicate action image.
I love this stanza particularly –
The water does not fight the rock,
It tunes its song and flows around.
It is neither this nor that.
The stepping stones in the flood –
Not the only way to cross.
such a beautiful image and profound statement. It fits exactly where I needed it today. 🙂 Thank you!
Glad! Sometimes there are patterns of words that emerge and sound right, but I’m not sure how they make their meaning….